Nostalgia is evil in my opinion, because it makes us remember only the good memories. They say we should only remember the good about other people who were once a part of our lives, but I have found that only remembering the good makes those memories hurtful to a great deal. Why not remember the bad too? Remembering the bad would make the memories more ‘balanced’ and that way we shall always know that despite the good things, either of us was not happy which led to the separation and the taking of our own different paths.
Nostalgia associates itself with seasons, foods, smells, colors or even someone’s accent.
Why does it hurt so much when you experience these feelings for the first time? Well I believe that for the first time in our sorry little lives we saw hope and love in the shape of that person. Our cold gloomy lives saw some meaning and warmth. Though we thought that our heart is an impenetrable organ made up of despair and ice, we never knew that this single person can bring so much change in us. When they left we were left to struggle with our lives just as someone gasps for air.
The first time you feel as if you’ve broken something on the inside, the pain you feel is physical not just emotional. You may feel yourself tired, depressed and slow no matter what you do. This may be followed by eating disorders as you try to compensate those emotions and kicks by using food that is supposed to make you feel better. Nothing in the world at that time could compensate for the feelings you felt when that person was in your life. You might be sorry at yourself for spending too much time on someone who did not stay back.
Nostalgia is usually slow in coming to you. While you have mostly healed yourself from all the other damages, nostalgia creeps up silently, slowly and then it hits you suddenly. Nostalgia associates itself with seasons, foods, smells, colors or even someone’s accent. You are already missing the other person but now you are remembering things from the past that classify as good or happy memories.
This makes you feel a lot more miserable as now you are comparing your present with the past. Your mind is now clouded with thoughts of “what-ifs” and “maybe’s”.
The only way out of this mess is to either start remembering the bad memories as well or trying to forget both altogether. Forgetting helps not only in achievement of closure but also making peace with that someone else.
So what if things did not work out nicely between you two, does not mean you have to be arch-nemesis for the rest of your lives.
Forgive. Forget. Cherish. Life is too short. Don’t wait for chances. Take the steps you need to.