#9 – She’s a Stranger with my Secrets

It was simply euphoric. They way her lips moved and how her eyes glittered. It felt as if time had stopped, just enough for me to notice her more clearly. It was simply magical. There was nothing truly more loving than that. I could see how her cheeks puffed when she smiled, how her eyelashes moved Continue reading

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#2018 Begins

So it’s 2018. This one is different. I am studying abroad, perhaps at a good university and have people from different cultures, religions and nationalities to talk to. Continue reading

Diary Entry #1

1st May -2017


I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. Sometimes it seems so overwhelming. Sometimes when I look back, I find it extremely hard to believe that I’ve made it so far. It feels like a dream. It feels as if I was merely lucky or as if I was in the right place at the right time that worked for my advantage. Continue reading

#8 – Depressed Achievers

It is often said, and supported with historical evidence, that people who suffer from depression turn out to be more successful in their lives as compared to the normal healthy people. I was not able to understand this phenomenon until recently. Continue reading

(reblog) Never measuring up

haadeashka

Never measuring up.

Light another Marlboro. Puff. Puff. Puff. Inhale the soother. Numb your senses. Let your worries dissolve in the massive cloud of nicotine and tar and carbon dioxide.

Your body isn’t a temple.

Your mind isn’t a race-horse.

Each man for himself in this dog eat dog world. You lend an ear to everyone. You try to ease their pain. You’re there through and through but they don’t even text you back sometimes. You don’t even care because why should they? They have a life. They have a plan. They have God on their side. You. You’re not even on His speed-dial.

You kneel. You beg for forgiveness. You bawl. You cry your eyes dry. You ask for mercy.

For forgiveness.

For absolution.

For light at the end of the tunnel. But the tunnel goes on for miles and miles and miles and you’re not nearing an…

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#1- Drowning

The faint sound of two people, probably talking at a distance. The more I concentrate the louder and clearer it becomes. I realize that I am asleep and I try to open up my eyes. I am still dizzy from the sleep and thus unable to understand who they are or where I am. I rub my eyes as I start to get the stinging feeling of a headache. I quickly realize that I am in the back seat of a small car and it is moving. There is a driver and someone in the passenger seat. On my left side there is huge backpack loaded with supplies and canned food.

Shot of desert mountains with roadway and flowing river / Wyoming, United States
Shot of desert mountains, roadway & flowing river / Wyoming, United States

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#6 – Nostalgia

Nostalgia is evil in my opinion, because it makes us remember only the good memories. They say we should only remember the good about other people who were once a part of our lives, but I have found that only remembering the good makes those memories hurtful to a great deal. Why not remember the bad too? Remembering the bad would make the memories more ‘balanced’ and that way we shall always know that despite the good things, either of us was not happy which led to the separation and the taking of our own different paths.

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#5 – Of Writers & Magicians

The writer with its skillful mastery of words shall always try to build an association with the readers. This keeps the reader ‘hooked on’ to the story. That is why some of us can’t wait to finish a book but at the same time dread that very moment when we are turning to the very last page. Can I compare it to the first high of a new drug? Or the first time you experienced something amazing? You know that whatever you do you can never bring the “first time feelings” again, not until you somehow forget ever reading the book and read it again as a first time.

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# 2 – Waking Up in the woods.

Listen to these while reading:

I wake up in a medium sized room. I find myself standing in-front of a king-sized bed. There are huge glass windows right next to it. The bed has beautiful traditional bed-sheets and bed covers. The weather feels like winters but the warm and bright sunlight is making its way in the room through the windows, on the bed and the floor. I have just noticed that the floor is carpeted with Persian/Afghan rugs, colorful and beautifully made. I am barefooted. My feet are touching the soft rugs. My nose smells this faint but lovely smell. Almost like vanilla and flowers and morning dew.

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